If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im six kinds of drunk right now
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize