her vagine was all disorganized.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
