I think im going to throw up on grandma
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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