whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
