I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
