They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
