$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
