my soul wont recognize me after tonight
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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