Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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