chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
