she woke up with a sticky ear
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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