Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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