You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
