is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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