Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
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I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
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We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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