I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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