Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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