we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
