i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
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You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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