i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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