My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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