you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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