I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
