so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The Olympian is in my bed
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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