Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
