my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You have to summon your inner elephant
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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