shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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