weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He passed out mid-signature
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
