You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
