sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is Oprah even human
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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