how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The air was thick with penises
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
