Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
