just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize