I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
