? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
