oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
