Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
