I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just invented taco cereal.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
