As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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