We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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