it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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