Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
