Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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