My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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