Soap is not a condiment
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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