Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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