Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
