he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize