Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
