Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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