TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
