i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
