i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
