So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
