I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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