My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize